lets preserve this moment
Saturday 16 January 2010 @ 1:03 pm
about a couple of hours ago, writing an online diary was the last thing that i want to do. even if i was paid i wouldnt do it. yes i despise it so much that what i did was took out the charging cable off just like that (and the battery was unattached), without actually "shutting the comp down". okay so firstly, the reason i was pissed was because of tumbleer*. cris the other day told me that i should go back to blogging, and i thought the idea was pretty good. i mean, its not like my life here is hectic (which is contradictory cos then i would have nothing much to write about my day but anyway) and also for the fact that its nice to read ur old posts once in a while. so anyway, tumbleer* was just not cooperating with me. i had an account for quite a while, but its just that ive not been keeping up with it. why? cos everytime i tweet it bloody shows on the main page. i want it on the sidebar, not the main content. and i tried to fix them, bloody reading html crap and i just couldnt encrypt them. so anyway, that was only ONE of the thing that pmo. others includes
x stuff that happen because of my stupidity
x or maybe the fact that i think it all happens because of my "stupidity" when maybe to a normal person, it might not hit themselves as hard as i did
x i can feel my eheem monthly uninvited guest decided to come tomorrow
x i cant log in into froasis* and i need to jot down my timetable
x i kept redoing my right nails over and over again cos they were just super damn frugly
x i couldnt find "tuesdays with morrie", cos i thot reading it would calm me down, think about the good things in life, appreciate them instead of sulking about the unnecessaries
x i wanted to talk to someone but no one was there. i even tried to call steph but couldnt get thru.
and i just wanna say a big thank you to all the people who actually receive misscalls from me. thank God u didnt pick it up. its about time i get independent, its about time i deal with MY problems instead of ranting them over to you guys, boring you, hurting your ears. THANK YOU.
so anyway when all of that happen, i was thinking to myself, i need an emergency/quick fix therapy. in my head i was thinking;
"ICE CHOCOLATE WITH MILO POWDER OVERFILLING THE BRIM"
"MACADAMIA HAAGEN DAAZ ICE CREAM"
"KOREAN CUP NOODLES"
"MANY MANY CHOCOLATES THAT ARE STILL NEATLY STACKED FROM XMAS"
"CHILLI CHA CHA PRETZ"
but then again i thought,
none of them guarantees itself brightening my mood after i eat them, maybe during the process, but afterwards ill regret. and also, if i do eat one of the options, and still not satisfied ill go to the second. and i know if i did, the next morning ill just shout when i see myself in the mirror and theres a big chance that i will stay at home (its weird, i know)"
so anyway instead, i got up the bed and decided to try on outfits. i nvr actually made this publicly (lol, that sounds weird), except when ppl caught me in the act and i just answered "umm, im just trying on my new clothes", but i actually really do. i find that its my quick fix.
seriously right, after an hour or two of trying on different outfits (and i even tried them with heels yai), i am feeling sooo much better. i dont even care about any of the crossed list above. no way ho say stuff like that can piss me off. i didnt need haagen daaz, i didnt need tuesdays with morrie. what i needed was a time for myself, blocking everything out in this world except yourself. that may sound abit "up and selfish" but seriously, once in a while you just gotta do that.
anyway then after many outfits, i thought to myself i am extremely lucky to be in the position i am. this afternoon on the way to the office alone, an old women begging for money was extremely happy when i opened my window, gave her a smile and a "have a good day" and apologized that i didnt have change on me. i was the second car from the traffic and she literally stayed there, talking to me until the red was back on green. i cant remember what she said exactly but she at least mentioned "God bless you always, and may he guide you safely to your destination" three or four times. and i know that shes not always like this because gazillion of times where i passed this same exact road, but sitting at the back, either talking to my parents or listening to the ipod, shutting the baskers off by waving my hand (the "no no" gestures") when they pass my window. i felt extremely blessed when all that happened i tell you. this is funny and weird but i actually thought to myself "if only i can convince my parents to ask her to be one of the workers at home so at least she has a proper place to live and stable income". but i didnt of course. imagine if i did tho...
anyway im just really blessed. i am extremely grateful for my family and friends. i am blessed, i am really extremely superly duperly fantastically blessed. my feeling of gratefullness and blessed-ness is beyond words.
and im going to end it with this,
(and please just ignore the masker on my nose thanks. or my right fingernails thanks. )
the better, the merrier year.
first post of the year, happy new year!
okay im gonna sleep happily now:)
goodnight kids and dont forget to pray and thank God before you sleep!
*stuff are written with wrong spelling on purpose just in case they find and sue me, like how recently an indowoman had to pay 500million rp of a stupid complain she mentioned online.